Okay, so it's only been a few days away from yet it feels like months. No longer really keeping track of the days because I'm having way way too much fun. I love this place! Fiji is absolutely amazing and beautiful, it's the most peaceful place I've ever visited.
I only have limited internet so I'll only put a little here. I miss Australia muchly and can't believe I don't go back for so much longer. It's currently 8.30 in the morning which means all my australian friends are asleep as its still 6am there.
We went snorkelling here and the coral and fish are absolutely gorgeous. Got to swim amongst multiple schools of fish and see ones that I've never even imagined. It was amazing. We've also done lots of beach volleyball and walking through the sand and up the hill to a wonderful view.
I definatley reccomend to anyone wanting to go somewhere to chill out, somewhere to have an amazing time without having crowds of people around, go to Malolo island in Fiji. You will love it.
I've tried desperatley to avoid facebook but so far hasnt worked. And now I have to run for more beach fun. Miss you all!

C;x

WINTER

I stumbled upon this artist, Lawrence Yang (above artwork), and found him amazing! I'm not sure what it is about his work but it just looks absolutely brilliant and beautiful. So it's my current goal in life (while ignoring others such as enter score) to one day, somehow purchase the above painting. Or atleast have it in my possesion (if anyone feels the need to gift it). One day, in my beautiful two storey, white walled, massivley open house (sort of Gossip Girl style) this will be on the wall among many other beauties.

:) I think i've filled my quota of saying some form of beautiful for the day.

Six days and counting :)

C;x

THE SUMMER IS MAGIC

Summer has only started and it is already amazing :) Spent time on a houseboat with some great friends, although now the rain has returned.
Tan lines, silly memories, summer loving songs, I'm thinking so far all I see and feel is perfection.

11 days till I leave, I shall try to post on here of my out-of-Australia adventures but for now I shall depart to start to pack, and get ready for a Christmas party.
It's all happening,

And summer truley is magic :)

C;x

CHEERS DARLIN'

I had the strangest dream last night;
I'm not sure where I was but someone offered me some weed, and I took it. I then dreamt of hallucinations and finding another joint on the ground, smoking it and continuing with hallucinations.
I wish I could remember what they were, I only remember some sort of creature with the head of a red horse and two other creatures standing beside it.

If only I knew how to interpret my dreams....

VOLCANO

So i've noticed lately that I tend to constantly drift off into my own imagination where I create dances, create beauty, and create magic. I drift off to a place that I can only wish to be real. Today at work I managed to sit there for atleast an hour creating an entire dance music video in the mechanics working bay and in the rain. In my mind, it was beautiful, if only I could convey those images onto something that others could see, or if I could actually phyically create it.

It makes me wish that in school I had done Media, or that my future could involve something such as this. Although my path is set and unfortunatly I have to put the idea of dancing in my future, however painfully, behind me.

Fourteen years of incorporating something I so completely dearly loved into every part of my day is coming to an end. I wish that I could somehow create a future out of this, do something that people could look at and say, I knew her, I'm proud of her. I guess I can just hope for this in my other love, writing.

However, it seems that this path is also dim and unlikely.
But I can wish, I can dream.

I plan on spending the next ten years of my life, however poor it may make me, living the life i've dreamed, or atleast chasing my dreams

I guess after I've done that I can begin to be sensible. Or atleast... have some sense, if not, I know I will have lived happy and with no regrets. Regrets are for those who are too afraid to follow their dreams, or for those inable to understand that everything happens for a reason and the places we are led to, are those that our souls should much appreciate, and learn from.

So here's a little toast;

To life, to living, to no longer being afraid and following dreams.

I hope you'll still follow me and I gallavant around the world creating havoc :)

C;x

WE ARE WHO WE ARE

My little countdown on my computer tells me that I'm leaving the country in 18 days! I'm extremely excited that for three weeks I get to explore the world but then I know I'm going to miss my friends here dearly. I know three weeks is a short space of time, however it will seem like so much more when I'll never get the chance to talk to them, time difference meaning that when I wake they're sleeping, vise versa.

My plan of 100 books for the summer is starting off rather slow although I'm already half way through this monster of a book I'm reading at the moment. I'll just have to read much much more often to complete the goal :)



Off to immerse myself in a world of books, where I don't have to think and remember how much I'm going to miss people next year. And how afraid I am that they'll forget me. But life moves on, and I'll always cherish the memories in my mind, and wont let go of the amazing things I never want to forget.
I love so many people; what they've done for me, what they've done with me, and how they've changed me.

They will always, always, be in my heart, no matter where I end up.

C;x

WHAT'S MY NAME

Well this has been a fairly hectic week but it's all coming to a close.
Sunday afternoon laziness in store for me now, I can cuddle up in a corner with my morning coffee and new book! Took me two months to get it because of exams and such but I finally have spare time! And I finally have the ability to read for pleasure rather then reading for school. So I plan to read at least 100 books over this summer and I shall name them all here. Although now I'm working it might be a bit hard but I'm sure that over 40 hours on planes will sort that out.

Speaking of, I shall soon be venturing off to the wonderful, beautiful, peaceful land of Canada to see some family for Christmas. Shall be amazing! As everything else is right now. Perfection seems to just erupt into life as school finishes. I can't believe I forgot how good life could be and that I let school bring me down.
:) Yay for life :)

I'm off to read no.1 book for the Summer,

1. The Desert Spear - Peter. V. Brett (2nd in a series)
Happy reading and summer loving,

C;x

DREAMWORLD

So last night I went to see the absolutely amazing new Harry Potter!!

We had a two day marathon of all the previous movies before and then went lining up at 10.30 even though it was a midnight screening. And it was absolutely worth it. The movie stuck to the book so well and was just.. amazing. Could have been becuase it was so early in the morning everything seems so much more or it could just be that Harry Potter is completely epic.

My life is complete. For now.. until the next one comes out. Ah I'm so excited! I dont have words for it.

So i'm just going to sit here in my little speechlessness and ponder the amazingness. And probably go and see the movie again multiple times.

While going and setting up for my art exhibition (eee) and an afternoon of wandering shops and op shops. Yay for freedom :)

C;x

GHOSTS N' STUFF

FREEDOM!

look out world, here I come

thats all :)

C;x

ONLY GIRL

I love how some songs can manage to depict everything we are feeling through our soul and the words enter our ears. Perhaps, we are simply converting the words into a meaning that suits our current situation, as we find ourselves doing so often with horoscopes, or perhaps we simply feel so much as females that any song could parallel with our lives in some sense or another.

"Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world"

Maybe we all just want to feel loved, and we all just want someone to care for us as much as we dream that we wish we could care for ourselves.

And perhaps, this random use of inclusive language is a strange way of my subconscious trying to seperate myself from these emotions as I'm still afraid of losing someone, of losing the amazing feelings people help us gain. Possibly that's why lately, when things start to feel so brilliant and perfect, something changes and my mind disappears into an abyss where I don't have to remember that very, very soon, this will be taken away from me. However it will be replaced with something amazing, my future. Yet I am still afraid.

Melancholy, I think so. I blame Keat's, well slightly. Such beautiful words, such ominous views on life. But then, that's simply just my viewing of it.

For now, I shall delve into the depths of my own strange mind within sleep. For later, I will work past this bump in my road and evolve, as my little Pokemon do, into a much more beautiful, confident person, understanding and accepting of my own emotions.

C;x

DEATH AND ALL HIS FRIENDS

When you're fears come to be, you either fight them standing strong, or don't fight them at all.
Whichever you choose decides your strength of spirit, and ability to survive this world.

MISGUIDED GHOSTS

So i've spent the last week attempting to update my new ipod, but unfortuatly as all things go technology has the inability to work for me. Or maybe I'm just unlucky. So far I can only upload a few artists as a time, which equats to 100 songs or less. I have around 7000 songs and I'm up to L. Going to be a long weekend.

But on the bright side exams are almost finished. I only have my second methods one and an art exam left, and on the day of the art exam I can bring home my lovely folios! The little things I spent an entire year obsessing over, condensed down into a little number, which I dont find out until Dec 13. It's strange, isn't it, that I've spent 13 years of my life at school, and not only is it coming to and end but it's all being described by a number. A number can hardly compare to what you've had to put in to get to this point, it's as if we should get some sort of credit for just surviving high school and all its dilemmas. I feel slightly... betrayed I guess that I had to go through years of pain while struggling to keep good grades, and all i'll get is a pissy number judged by VCAA and what it feels I deserve based on a few stressfull hours they only spend minutes pondering over.

Where's the justice or fairness in that?

I guess I just have to wait till it's over and then move on to the better world that awaits me. Adelaide here I come, amazing times at St Marks here I come, new life filled with books and creativity, here I come. I can't wait to live this new life :)

C;x

LIGHTS OUT

I dissaprove of my own actions, the constant ability to disappear from my blog for weeks at a time for the mere reason of forgetfullness. Or just simply, the inability to maintain any sort of routine.
Possibly becuase I'm a kind of spur of the moment person. If somethings appealing, I'll run to it, if I situation changes, I'll be a chameleon and adapt to it.
I love spontenaety. As long is it follows me my whole life, I will be completely happy :)\

Must run away and must study;
it never ends.

C;x

TRUE COLOURS

So somehow one simple comment can change my mind completely.

One person can make me feel so astonishingly happy. I love the people who surround me and although I have my moments where the old version of myself steps back into view, I still feel as though I've finally changed into the person I've always wanted to be.

Exams are upcoming and though it's so extremely stressful and scary that so many things are happening so fast, it's almost thrilling.

I've been waiting for these moments my entire life, waiting to to be set free into the real world, waiting to explore what this life has to offer me.

These days when you see me walking around smiling and laughing know that it's finally pure happiness, finally pure acception with life and myself.

I'm happier then i've ever been, the people in my life piece everything together and make me feel things that are inexplainable.

I dont know how to describe this emotion.

It's so perfect.

I love life, and I love you all!

I will never ever forget the people who I spend my current days with. And I hope you don't forget me.

C;x

and the worst part is,
all year I've been so happy and confident in every single thing I do, I've been proud and energetic.

now I've never felt so afraid and out of control
don't know how to act.
how to feel.
what to do.
my mind a catastrophe.

thats all.

THE LAST SOMETHING THAT MEANT ANYTHING

Okay, so the 30 day challenge has ended after four days. I could keep going but I honestly can't be bothered.
So much going on with school at the moment, it's extremely intense and everyones becoming stressed, agrivated and just completely different from their usual behaviour.

I was reading through a thought journal I kept a few months back and found some adorable pieces I wrote about a spider crawling through a flower. It was strange and so utterly different from the stories I usually write, but entertaining non-the-less.

I'm starting to really realise all the people and little things about this town that I will miss. Some of my teachers have become so amazing over this journey through year 12 that it will be like letting go of a sibling when I leave. Only four months till I go. Four days left at school. And four weeks till i'm finished with all my exams.
Exciting, terrifying, confusing. So many emotions jam packed into the little brain I hold in my head.
I want to do something to show those peole who've become dear to me this year how much I appreciate them. But it's not as simple as it sounds. I'm trying to make something for the one and only amazing literature teacher I have, I just hope that I can somehow capture what i'm trying to say without sounding childish, strange or corny.

I wish feelings in my heart would just appear on paper without me having to think of them. Figuring some things out would be so much easier then.

C;x

DON'T UNPLUG ME

Part 04; The best concert/gig you've been to.

Well sadly... i've only been to two or three concert/gigs. Which is going to completely change next year when I'm in the saweeeeeeeeet city and rocking it out :)
But the best has to be, Oddity. Best local band :) And my mates band so maybe I'm kinda bias. But they're truley awesome, and so good to watch. I love sitting in their practices while waiting for my bus ;p


Cutest video on youtube, Don't Unplug Me.
Iunno why it's just adorable.

Kind of a slow day so not much else to add.

Kindly awaiting inspiration;
C;x

SVEFN-G-ENGLAR

Along with many other things, this absolutely made my day;

Harry Potter is something I've loved ever since I was little, I still remember when I first went to read it my sister would make me read the first page aloud, and if I could do it without stumbling or not knowing words more less then five times I was allowed to read it alone :)

I've read and re read it so many times it's imprinted in my memory, and now the second last movie is finally on its way! Going to have a two day marathon of all the previous movies then go see a midnight screening with my other HP obsessed fans :)

Funny thing, I found the hat that came free with the Deathly Hallows book when it first came out :) Will have to fix my camera and get it up here. Just for the lols.

Part 03; A photo of you in a drunken state

Not drunk, just tipsy, and having an absolutely hilarious time being idiots on the trampoline at my mates 18th :) I like to be energetic and kinda crazy :)

JUST IN TIME

Part 02; List 20 of your favourite Tumblr's, and why they're you're favourites;

Well, sorry to disapoint but I don't have favourite tumblr's or blogs or anything. Yes rather lame but you'll just have to deal.

Exciting, awesome, epic, amazing news!

I got into the College I wanted to for next year, the place is so great! I've wanted to go there for about five years now and it completely made my day to get in. Funny thing, the place kind of reminds me of Hogwarts a little, which is also awesome as when I was little I used to wait for my Hogwarts letter. Hmm I might re read those books, after exams of course (or maybe just before secretly :) )

Also, this morning I got some amazing news, the folio I spent al year working on and stressing over was completely worth it! Got a mark I am oh so very happy with, this day is just getting better and better. Not sure I want to spoil it with a night of study so I'm thinking just a night of Sex and the City, tea and some books sounds perfect :)

And my happiness and pure bliss continues from now and into the night :)

Happy smiling lovers,

C ;x

THE FEW THAT REMAIN

Okay, my bad, I was away for a while again.

But now I plan on posting every day, just because I love to procrastinate and secretly... exams are really freaking me out but I wont tell anyone else that :)

i want to forget how it feels to be afraid

So to force myself to be on here every day i'm going to embark on a 30 day challenge;
stolen from the awesome http://sweetlilaaayy.blogspot.com/

Part 01; The celebrity you'de do unthinkable illegal things to;

Not that I actually watch Vampire Diaries, but Ian Somerhalder... mmm :)

Did you know, that just possibly, I'm being inspired by the sunshine?
I've begun to actually write again, reworking my novel, third time lucky.
I love my short stories so I want to use them somehow and I'm just figuring out how it works best. So far, I'm liking it, alot. 1400 words down, way too many to go.

Funny thing is though, the things I write are so dark and depressing, yet I feel so happy right now. So insanley happy that I could explode into a million colours and scatter all around the universe then come back together still smiling.
Strange? Or are things just falling perfectly into place right now?

No stress, is amazing.

C ;x

PLASTIC JUNGLE

Wow, so I went off the grid for a while. Completely not my fault :)

Things have been so thoroughly intense with Grease production, but I LOVE IT!
2 days till we perform. The people, the music, the dancing, the fun, the laughter, it's all just so amazing and every day everyone is inspiring me. I love the entire cast, specially our little main family. I couldnt ask for a better way to be spending my time :)

Everything is so exciting and thrilling lately. Sent in my uni application, now I just have to apply for my courses (after Grease is finished) and hope I get in.

It's awfully strange to think how fast my life has gone by and how soon I'll be escaping to the big bad world on my own, writing to my hearts content, dancing through new streets and blogging new adventures.
I'm going to discover a whole new world, a place of magic. Life is magic. We all are. Living and breathing magic. It's a wonderful delight, a ravishing truth.

I can't wait to begin my adventures.

WITH A SPIRIT

"You can be, whatever you want when you're high. Walk slowly, with spirit by your side"

I shall be making disappearances over the next week or so. Internet is temporary being confiscated so that I can "concentrate on my studies more". Although study has become my life, second to school production that is.

So anyway, I started writing again, and it's wonderful! Though I almost forgot how it was to write something from begining to end, rather then just re writing old loves.
I'm finding it incredibly difficult to capture this worlds beauty in writing. I have an idea of exactly what I want to write. I'm just worried, that there's too much pain within it that one love story isn't enough to bring back happiness.




On another note, I have a wonderful full day rehearsal tomorow for Grease! The best part of my week is the Sunday's where I get to delve into the depths of what is Cha Cha :) Thanks to the amazing, brilliant people around me I think I'm getting there. Everyone is so helpful and wonderful! Where would I be without these beautiful people who surround me?

Speaking of beautiful, I watched Remember Me with my mum last night. We had a bit of a movie sesh, and that was so fantastic! At first I thought it would be terrible because I'm not the greatest fan of Robert Pattinson, due to sparkly fairy roles, but here he was brilliant. I've only ever cried in three movies in my life, and this is one of them. Along with Titanic and Moulin Rogue. I then went on to watch Grease with her, then a whole load more today. Started watching Notebook but I don't think I could handle that many sad movies, plus my horrific stories all in one weekend.

So all in all i've been rather lazy, but I can say it's due to saving all my energy for Grease! And for not getting sick. Goal number one!

Although I should probably head off and do some actual study. I spend the morning cleaning instead today. It is a Saturday.

Goodbye all;
C;x

MONSTERS BALL

"it's okay, i'll only kill you twice"

Another overly awesome fantastic amazing stupendeous day!

Thursdays are my writing days, I only have free periods and English then Lit. It's rather amazing as I get to spend a whole day devoted to the one thing.

My Lit Journal, in which I record my thoughts, is starting to get ridiculously thick. Thoughts, quotes, things to remember, stories I begin to write.
It's strange though, ever since Retreat (best week ever) i've been utterly calm, and my writing has changed.
I used to write of depressing things which would bring a tear to the eye when you attempted to read but now.. it's pretty and happy. There's love in Paris, Ballrooms, Book Stores, beautiful things. When you read them you think of colours and happy things, but my old stuff, it's darkness and despair.

I think I much prefer the prettyness. Images, somehow have become my life too. I've found so much beauty through photography. It's intense. It's perfection.
Everything is perfection :)

Loving life, loving everything.

C;x

MRS. JONES;

they'll name a city after us

wow, i just had an amazing afternoon of Grease :)

Our school musical for the year is coming along amazingly! Got my cast tee today CHA CHA on the back, so proud! Ahh so happy to be a part of something this great and amazing.
I can't wait till opening night, the atmosphere will be brilliant.

So so so many great things to look forward to!
Parties. Friends. Fun. Performances. Dancing. Laughing. Singing. Being simply amazing

Thoroughly excited;

C;

LIFE IS WONDERFUL;

I can't wait until I'm eighteen and can get a tattoo.

My mother would probably kill me, as would my sister, but why not.

We only live once and might aswell love and celebrate the life we're given.

But then to add to my list of wants, I want to get my lip pierced. So many people would turn away from something like that, everyones grown up to ridiculous restraints of society. I want to break out and be different. Be strange! Change the way we think about everything.

Live for every moment, spend hours looking at photos, get inked, pierce yourself, read books endlessley, dance in the rain and in the sun. Forget the barriers that people try to encase you in.

Be free.

Be happy.

Be like me :)

C;x

MAD WORLD;

And this is the part where I'm so afraid of the world around me that I run and hide.

I've noticed lately, well not really lately more so always, but recently that the world is honestly falling apart. It's such a beautiful planet with so much to offer yet we decide to murder it constantly without second thought.

People hurt others. People hurt the environment.

Buildings. Wars. Fights.

Trashy words. Trash. Trashy people.

What happened to living in harmony, in happiness.

There's so much I wish I could do to help. I want to go to other countries and help people who truley need it.

I want to write to open up peoples eyes to this horrid place so maybe, just maybe we can fix it.

I want to see beauty in life again. In people.

I need someone to help me see this again.

:/ C ;x

AND SO IT GOES;

Pretty pictures and little pretty things make me want to sing, dance, love, laugh, LIVE!




I can't imagine this world without the amazing people by my side. I love how there's so many people who constantly amaze me and make me happy and cherish each moment i'm alive.
I love my friends.
I love those little distractions that make you forget what you're doing.
I love nature.
I love taking photos.
I love being a poser.
I love love.
I just.. love everything!



Stay happy :)



C ;x

IMAGINE THIS

"And yet the only exciting life is an imaginary one"

Virginia Woolf

So much of my time is spent with my head in books, and unfortunately that's school books not reading ones, that I forget about the simple simplicities in life.

Literature class got us to start a thought journal and it opened my head up to all the things I forget. I think so many weird things, yet in the end everything I think and write down has some sort of meaning. And it sorts out my head. Puts all my ideas onto paper. And inspires me.

I was actually inspired to head outside and take photos. I never usually take photos of nature. My folio consists of only people and their sinful ways. But I looked out my window and this was just too beautiful to miss.

There's just something about it that makes me feel so calm and serene. Blissful ignorance of the rest of this ridiculously murdered world.

Dance awaits,
and I shall depart.

C ;x